3. Boeh khàu bô ba̍k-sái, sim-koaⁿ kat kui-khiû
Láu-pán tī hia kúx khiā chi̍t-khùn, ba̍k-chiu bângx, á hit-ê thâu-chang pòaⁿ-pe̍h ê kò͘-mn̂g..ê kimx teh khòaⁿ i, ùi i ê sió keh-keng chhutx ji̍px, chhin-chhiūⁿ káu-á kiáⁿ teh tán lâng khan chhut-khì pha. Lo̍h-bóe, láu-pán khui-chhùi: "Mecey, koh-lâi pòaⁿ tiám-cheng, góa bô boeh kìⁿ lâng. Án-ne lí chai..bô? Siáⁿ-lâng to m̄-kìⁿ."
"Sī, góa chai, sian-siⁿ."
Mn̂g koaiⁿ khí-lâi, ún-tēng tîm-tāng ê kha-pō͘ koh ta̍h-kòe bêng-liāng ê tē-thán, pûix ê sin-khu siàng lo̍h kòa keng-á ê í-á lāi, láu-pán àⁿ hiòng chêng, siang-chhiú am-bīn. I siūⁿ-boeh, i phah-sǹg, i an-pâi hó boeh tōa-khàu...
Woodifield hut-jiân kā i thê-khí in hāu-seⁿ ê bōng ê sî, he tùi i sī tōax ê chhì-kek. He bē-su thô͘ óe-khui, hō͘ i khòaⁿ-tio̍h hāu-seⁿ tó tī hia, Woodifield ê chă-kiáⁿ mǹ mā àⁿ-thâu teh khòaⁿ. Kóng mā kî-koài, sui-bóng í-keng chhiau-kòe 6 nî, láu-pán siūⁿ-khí hāu-seⁿ ê sî, náu-hái ni̍h chóng-sī i chhēng kun-ho̍k, bô kái-piàn, bô pāi-hāi, éng-oán khùn..khì ê bô͘-iūⁿ. "Koai-kiáⁿ!" láu-pán án-ne naugh. M̄-koh, iáu sī bô ba̍k-sái.
Tī kòe-khì, tī hāu-seⁿ tú sí ê thâu kúi kò-goe̍h, sīm-chì kúi-nā nî, chí-iàu kóng chhut chit nn̄g-jī, i tō hō͘ pi-siong lia̍h-tiâu, tio̍h tōax khàu chi̍t-chūn chiah ē-tit kái-thoat. I bat kā ta̍k-lâng án-ne kóng, sî-kan mā bē-tit kái-piàn. Pa̍t-lâng hoān-sè ē-tit hôe-ho̍k, ē-tit ùi sit-chhin ê thòng-khó͘ koh pêng-chēng, m̄-koh i bô hoat-tō͘. Che ná ū khó-lêng ah? In hāu-seⁿ sī ko͘-kiáⁿ. Chū-chiông i chhut-sì, láu-pán tō phah-piàⁿ ūi i kiàn-li̍p chit-ê sū-gia̍p; nā m̄-sī ūi-tio̍h chit-ê gín-á, it-chhè tō lóng bô ì-gī. Nā bô gín-á ē lâi chiap-chhiú, ē lâi thoân-sêng ê kî-thāi, chiah chē nî lâi, i ná ū khó-lêng tī sè-kan án-ne chò-gû chò-bé, án-ne thoa-bôa jím-nāi ah?
Hit-ê kî-thāi goân-pún chha chi̍t-sut-á tō boeh si̍t-hiān ah. Chiàn-cheng po̍k-hoat chêng, hāu-seⁿ í-keng tī pān-kong-sek si̍t-si̍p chi̍t-nî. Ta̍k chái-khí, in tâng-chê chhut-mn̂g, àm-sî chē kāng-pang hóe-chhia tńg-lâi. Chò-ûi gín-á ê lāu-pē, i siu-tio̍h gōa-chē ê khèng-hō chiok-hok ah! Che bô siáⁿ hi-kî, in-ūi hāu-seⁿ tùi gia̍p-bū ê se̍k-chhiú hui-siông sūn-lī. I mā kài ū oân-kang ê lâng-iân, múi chi̍t-ê lâng, kē kàu lāu Macey, lóng kā i o-ló kah ē tak-chi̍h. M̄-koh i chi̍t-sut-á to bô hông sēng-pháiⁿ. Bē, i pó-chhî chū-sin ê khai-lóng, thian-seng ê ka-tī, tùi lâng kóng-ōe tek-thé, kòa chi̍t-ê gín-á-sèng ê piáu-chêng, si̍p-koàn-tek kóng chi̍t-kù, "Ū-kàu chán lah!"
M̄-koh, it-chhè lóng kiat-sok ah, bô-iáⁿ bô-jiah ah, bē-su che m̄-bat chûn-chāi kòe. Hit-kang, Macey kau hō͘ i hit-tiuⁿ tiān-pò, hō͘ i ê sè-kài chek-sî kui-ê pang..khì. "Chin ûi-hām kā lí thong-ti..." I lī-khui pān-kong-sek ê sî, í-keng sī chi̍t-ê sim-chhùi ê lâng, i ê sèⁿ-miā sī chi̍t-phìⁿ hùi-hi.
La̍k-nî chêng, í-keng la̍k-nî... Sî-kan kòe-liáu chin kín! Ná-chhiūⁿ sī cha-hng hoat-seng ê tāi-chì. Láu-pán kā chhiú ùi bīn sóa-khui; kám-kak tām-po̍h khùn-he̍k. I kám-kak ka-tī ká-ná ū tó-ūi bô-tú-hó. I kám-kak bē-tio̍h ka-tī boeh-ài ê kám-kak. I koat-tēng boeh peh khí-lâi, boeh khòaⁿ hāu-seⁿ ê siòng-phìⁿ. M̄-koh, chit-tiuⁿ m̄-sī i siōng kah-ì ê siòng-phìⁿ; siòng ni̍h ê piáu-chêng bô chū-jiân. Piáu-chêng léng-tām, sīm-chì ū kóa giâm-siok. Hāu-seⁿ it-hiòng m̄-bat ū hit-chióng piáu-chêng.
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3. 欲哭無目屎, 心肝結規 khiû
老闆 tī hia kúx 徛一睏, 目睭 bângx, á 彼个頭鬃半白 ê 顧門..ê kimx teh 看伊, ùi 伊 ê 小隔間 chhutx ji̍px, 親像狗仔囝 teh 等人牽出去拋. 落尾, 老闆開喙: "Mecey, 閣來半點鐘, 我無欲見人. Án-ne 你知..無? 啥人 to 毋見."
"是, 我知, 先生."
門關起來, 穩定沉重 ê 跤步 koh 踏過明亮 ê 地毯, pûix ê 身軀摔落掛弓仔 ê 椅仔內, 老闆 àⁿ 向前, 雙手掩面. 伊想欲, 伊拍算, 伊安排好欲大哭...
Woodifield 忽然 kā 伊提起 in 後生 ê 墓 ê 時, he 對伊是 tōax ê 刺激. He 袂輸塗挖開, 予伊看著後生倒 tī hia, Woodifield ê chă 囝 mǹ mā àⁿ 頭 teh 看. 講 mā 奇怪, 雖罔已經超過 6 年, 老闆想起後生 ê 時, 腦海 ni̍h 總是伊穿軍服, 無改變, 無敗害, 永遠睏..去 ê 模樣. "乖囝!" 老闆 án-ne naugh. M̄-koh, 猶是無目屎.
Tī 過去, tī 後生拄死 ê 頭幾個月, 甚至幾若年, 只要講出 chit 兩字, 伊 tō hō͘ 悲傷掠牢, 著 tōax 哭一陣才會得解脫. 伊 bat kā 逐人 án-ne 講, 時間 mā 袂得改變. 別人凡勢會得回復, 會得 ùi 失親 ê 痛苦 koh 平靜, m̄-koh 伊無法度. Che 那有可能 ah? In 後生是孤囝. 自從伊出世, 老闆 tō 拍拚為伊建立這个事業; 若毋是為著這个囡仔, 一切 tō lóng 無意義. 若無囡仔會來接手, 會來傳承 ê 期待, chiah 濟年來, 伊那有可能 tī 世間 án-ne 做牛做馬, án-ne 拖磨忍耐 ah?
彼个期待原本差一屑仔 tō 欲實現 ah. 戰爭爆發前, 後生已經 tī 辦公室實習一年. 逐早起, in 同齊出門, 暗時坐仝幫火車轉來. 做為囡仔 ê 老爸, 伊收著偌濟 ê 慶賀祝福 ah! Che 無啥稀奇, 因為後生對業務 ê 熟手非常順利. 伊 mā kài 有員工 ê 人緣, 每一个人, 低到老 Macey, lóng kā 伊 o-ló kah 會觸舌. M̄-koh 伊一屑仔 to 無 hông 倖歹. 袂, 伊保持自身 ê 開朗, 天生 ê ka-tī, 對人講話得體, 掛一个囡仔性 ê 表情, 習慣 tek 講一句, "有夠讚 lah!"
M̄-koh, 一切 lóng 結束 ah, 無影無跡 ah, 袂輸 che m̄-bat 存在過. 彼工, Macey 交 hō͘ 伊 hit 張電報, hō͘ 伊 ê 世界即時規个崩去. "真遺憾 kā 你通知..." 伊離開辦公室 ê 時, 已經是一个心碎 ê 人, 伊 ê 性命是一片廢墟.
六年前, 已經六年... 時間過了真緊! Ná 像是昨昏發生 ê 代誌. 老闆 kā 手 ùi 面徙開; 感覺淡薄困惑. 伊感覺 ka-tī ká-ná 有佗位無拄好. 伊感覺袂著 ka-tī 欲愛 ê 感覺. 伊決定欲 peh 起來, 欲看後生 ê 相片. M̄-koh, chit 張毋是伊上佮意 ê 相片; 相 ni̍h ê 表情無自然. 表情冷淡, 甚至有寡嚴肅. 後生一向 m̄-bat 有彼種表情.
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3.
For a long moment the boss stayed, staring at nothing, while the grey-haired office messenger, watching him, dodged in and out of his cubby hole like a dog that expects to be taken for a run. Then : " I'll see nobody for half an hour, Macey," said the boss. " Understand ? Nobody at all."
" Very good, sir."
The door shut, the firm heavy steps recrossed the bright carpet, the fat body plumped down in the spring chair, and leaning forward, the boss covered his face with his hands. He wanted, he intended, he had arranged to weep...
It had been a terrible shock to him when old Woodifield sprang that remark upon him about the boy's grave. It was exactly as though the earth had opened and he had seen the boy lying there with Woodifield's girls staring down at him. For it was strange. Although over six years had passed away, the boss never thought of the boy except as lying unchanged, unblemished in his uniform, asleep for ever. " My son ! " groaned the boss. But no tears came yet. /
In the past, in the first months and even years after the boy's death, he had only to say those words to be overcome by such grief that nothing short of a violent fit of weeping could relieve him. Time, he had declared then, he had told everybody, could make no difference. Other men perhaps might recover, might live their loss down, but not he. How was it possible ? His boy was an only son. Ever since his birth the boss had worked at building up this business for him ; it had no other meaning if it was not for the boy. Life itself had come to have no other meaning. How on earth could he have slaved, denied himself, kept going all those years without the promise for ever before him of the boy's stepping into his shoes and carrying on where he left off ?
And that promise had been so near being fulfilled. The boy had been in the office learning the ropes for a year before the war. Every morning they had started off together ; they had come back by the same train. And what congratulations he had received as the boy's father ! No wonder ; he had taken to it marvellously. As to his popularity with the staff, every man jack of them down to old Macey couldn't make enough of the boy. And he wasn't in the least spoilt. No, he was just his bright, natural self, with the right word for everybody, with that boyish look and his habit of saying, " Simply splendid ! "
But all that was over and done with as though it never had been. The day had come when Macey had handed him the telegram that brought the whole place crashing about his head. " Deeply regret to inform you ..." And he had left the office a broken man, with his life in ruins.
Six years ago, six years ... How quickly time passed ! It might have happened yesterday. The boss took his hands from his face ; he was puzzled. Something seemed to be wrong with him. He wasn't feeling as he wanted to feel. He decided to get up and have a look at the boy's photograph. But it wasn't a favourite photograph of his; the expression was unnatural. It was cold, even stern-looking. The boy had never looked like that.
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